Robyn Graham on Breaking the Cycle of Childhood Trauma and Mom Anxiety

In this powerful episode, host Kevin sits down with Robyn Graham to explore the emotional weight many mothers carry into parenthood—often rooted in childhood environments marked by emotional chaos, neglect, or subtle trauma. Robyn explains how these early experiences quietly shape anxiety in adulthood and lead many moms to react instead of respond, especially in stressful parenting moments.

Through the lens of neuroscience coaching, Robyn shares how mothers can regulate their nervous system, break generational patterns, and build calmer, healthier relationships with their children. If you’ve ever felt like anxiety is silently running your home, this conversation offers clarity, hope, and a path toward healing and peace.




Connect with

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/therobyngraham/
Website: https://therobyngraham.com/

Transcript

Robyn Graham : 0:00

They're in an environment. It's stressful to be a mom. Some women grew up in an environment where, for example, like I did, where there was a lot of outburst, a lot of emotional instability, a lot of chaos emotionally, overreacting instead of responding. Some women even experience emotional neglect as they're growing up. They may have experienced a lot of little traumas. And when I say little traumas, I don't mean insignificant, what the world would perceive as small versus something traumatic like a car accident or a dread, a death, or a physical trauma, right? So when you think about that, a lot of women bring into their parenting a lot of past experiences. And those past experiences often lead to heightened anxiety. Then you add being a parent, which already adds a certain level of anxiety. And some anxiety is very healthy, right? It just motivates us to step into a role and to do very well or pushes us to succeed. But oftentimes that anxiety can lead to overreacting versus responding.

Davis Nguyen : 1:02

Welcome to Career Coaching Secrets, the podcast where we talk with successful career coaches on how they built their success and the hard lessons they learned along the way. My name is Davis Wynne, and I'm the founder of Purple Circle, where we help career coaches scale their business to $100,000 years, $100,000 months, and even $100,000 weeks. Before Purple Circle, I've grown several seven and eight figure career coaching businesses myself and have been a consultant at two career coaching businesses that are doing over $100 million each. Whether you're an established coach or building your practice for the first time, you'll discover the secrets to elevating your coaching business.

Kevin: 1:33

Welcome to Career Coaching Secrets Podcasts. I'm Kevin, and today we are joined by Robin Graham. She's been in the business coaching space for over six years and transitioned into, I guess, what would you call it, Robin? Neuroscience coaching?

Robyn Graham : 1:47

That sounds good, yes.

Kevin: 1:48

Okay, neuroscience coaching. Anyways, I'm really excited to have you here. Welcome to show Robin.

Robyn Graham : 1:53

Well, thank you for having me, Kevin. It's an honor to be here with you.

Kevin: 1:56

You know, one of the first questions I always ask on this podcast is the origin story, the lore. And let's start at the very beginning. Pre-podcast, we were talking about you're in the business coaching space. What prompted this kind of shift in like business models? I'm so curious to hear about that transition for yourself.

Robyn Graham : 2:11

Yeah, so it will probably help if I go back to the very beginning. I grew up in a very small town in the Midwest, in the US, and I wanted nothing more than to be successful, have a successful career. And so I went to pharmacy school. I became a pharmacist, got my doctorate degree, and then as we yes, way. So it helps to understand that as part of my journey, right? But many years later, after I was married, had my three children, we were living in Pennsylvania at the time. So we had no family, no support system here, and the anxiety level in our home was really skyrocketing. And I was starting to see that my my son was displaying symptoms of anxiety. And I was like, you know what? The cycle has to stop here because I grew up in a home where there was a lot of anxiety, and I have experienced anxiety my entire life, and I did not want my children to experience the lifelong journey that I had. And so my husband and I decided that I would follow my passion and I became a professional photographer. So for 11 years, I grew a branding and headshot photography business and was very successful. The go-to in my area for that. And as a result, what I started to see was that women that I was working with from a branding perspective did not know how to build a business. They didn't know anything about building a foundation using SEO, having a solid website, and then using these images to really grow their personal brand so that people could really get to know them, love them, and trust them. And so I started consulting with all of those clients, and then that led me to get certifications in brand strategy, business growth strategy, and all of those things. And so I did that then alongside the photography until 2022, when I published my book, You Me in Anxiety, which is basically my memoir, but also very um personal development for teen girls and their, and then a second book for their parents alongside a journal. When I did that, I felt God telling me, I want you to do something with women and their children to help them navigate anxiety. And I was like, no, no, thank you. I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing. I'm in the business coach space and I'm just gonna keep doing this. Well, as I was working with coaches and um and my clients, I learned a lot about mindset and growth and all of those things. Fast forward to the end of 2024, and one of my clients had a master coaching certification program that was a year-long program and it was focused on uh parenting, motherhood, trauma, relationships, all of those things. And she asked me to join. And I was like, no, I really don't need that. I'm good. And she goes, listen, I want to work with you all year. So how about if I keep working with you, you join my program and we barter? And I was like, well, I don't barter. But then I just felt very led to say yes. And so I joined her program. Come January of 2025. I was like, you know what? If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna go all in. And so I found a neuroscience coach certification program and became certified through ICF. And I'm now working on my ACC credentials and will take that exam soon. And so I am now transitioning completely to focusing on foaching women, mothers, and helping them just really with a solution to transforming moments of anxiety into calm and contentment in their relationships with their children. So the pharmacy piece comes in because when I was in the medical industry, I did a lot of work in psychology. So that's how we come full circle. So hopefully that makes sense to you and now you see the journey.

Kevin: 5:51

I'm getting goosebumps. You know why? No, you'll never guess this, Robin. Uh, I used to be a drug dealer. I used to be a pharmacist too, which was pretty crazy. So that's why I reacted the way that you did and stuff. So as you're telling your journey, I was like, wow, this is like I see so many similarities and stuff like that, too. It's really wait a minute.

Robyn Graham : 6:09

Were you an actual licensed pharmacist or you were a drug dealer? Which is they're two different things. You were.

Kevin: 6:16

I used as a hook every single time, but yes, okay. I was a licensed pharmacist.

Robyn Graham : 6:20

Wow, that's amazing.

Kevin: 6:21

Farm D and all that. So it's pretty funny. Me too.

Robyn Graham : 6:24

Okay, so there we are, we're on the same page.

Kevin: 6:26

Yeah. Okay, that's really interesting. And so fast forward to now you're coaching mothers and helping them transform anxiety into moments of calm and contentment in their relationships with their children. What does that kind of look like, I guess? What does that relationship dynamic tie look like with the children?

Robyn Graham : 6:43

When you think about it, many moms, right, they're in an environment. It's stressful to be a mom. And some women grew up in an environment where, for example, like I did, where there was a lot of outburst, a lot of emotional instability, a lot of chaos emotionally, and overreacting instead of responding. Some women even experience emotional neglect as they're growing up. They may have experienced a lot of little traumas. And when I say little traumas, I don't mean insignificant, what the world would perceive as small versus something traumatic like a car accident or a dread, a death, or a physical trauma, right? So when you think about that, a lot of women bring into their parenting a lot of past experiences. And those past experiences often lead to heightened anxiety. Then you add being a parent, which already adds a certain level of anxiety. And some anxiety is very healthy, right? It just motivates us to step into a role and to do very well or pushes us to succeed. But oftentimes that anxiety can lead to overreacting versus responding to our children. So either the mom has anxiety herself, has grown up and not learned how to handle situations and respond versus overreact, or the child has anxiety and the mom has no clue what to do with this kid that has anxiety because they've never lived anxiety, they don't know how to respond to anxiety, or they both have anxiety, the mom and the child. So you can see the past is brought into it, and then obviously you have the present. So what happens is the people in this relationship, the mother and the child, are overreacting. Maybe they are spiraling, maybe they find themselves unable to communicate because they're not understanding each other, or one's anxiety is heightening another's anxiety. So what that could look like is the child is, for example, studying for an exam, and all of a sudden they are completely freaking out that they're never gonna be able to get the assignment done, they're going to fail, they're not able to do this, whatever. And the mom is like, just get over it. Well, that statement is not going to help that child because a child with anxiety cannot just get over it. A mom with anxiety, if her spouse is telling her, just get over it, they'll be fine. No, you cannot just get over anxiety or any mental health challenge. It takes intentional action, and that is where the neuroscience coaching comes into play because we can reformulate, we can rewire how the brain is working and then change the way we're communicating with our children so that we can keep calm and peace versus spiraling out of control.

Kevin: 9:27

Tell me a little bit about the neuroscience aspect and how that dynamic kind of like comes into play, I guess.

Robyn Graham : 9:33

Yeah, so it's really so as a coach, I believe that every person has within them everything that they need. They're not coming to me to give them all the answers, right? I'm asking them questions in a thought-provoking creative way to help them see what's already inside them. And through those questions, when you think of how the brain works, first of all, we're taking them from a place where their sympathetic nervous system may be on overdrive. And if they have anxiety and if they experienced anxiety or a lot of emotional chaos growing up, they've been in a heightened state of overdrive, right? For a long time. So we want to teach them, I teach them tools and ways that they can calm their nervous system, build resilience with their nervous system, and then stay in their parasympathetic nervous system, which is where they're going to be able to access all of the brilliance of their brain, all of those tools that we innately have in our brain so that they can be a better parent. And then alongside that, once we start using these tools, then we'll dive into maybe it's maybe it's habit stacking, maybe it's other tools that maybe it's journaling, different tools that we can actually start to rewire the emotional process and the thought process. We know that past experiences are brain pulls from all of our past experiences. So anytime we're looking at different situations and every single individual is unique. Our nervous systems are as unique as our fingerprints. So every every person I work with is a little bit different. But the neuroscience piece is let's start with the nervous system and regulate that, build resilience there, and then let's look at how we can rewire those neural pathways so that we're not automatically going to the negative. We're able to start seeing the positive and spend more time experiencing positive thoughts, positive emotions, more peace and joy versus constant outbursts, chaos, guilt, shame as a result.

Kevin: 11:30

After what is the family dynamic like after, I guess. I'm so curious about that.

Robyn Graham : 11:34

It's pretty remarkable. I I have so many examples and stories I could share, but basically what happens is that relationship becomes more stable. It becomes more peaceful. There is more connection between the two individuals. And I personally believe like the nuclear, the nuclear family is very, very powerful to have both parents under one roof with their children, but recognizing that's not always possible. And sometimes one parent is more hands-on than the other parent. And sometimes, you know, it is the mom that the kids go to with all their needs and their problems. And so the moms start to feel that weight. So when we can help the mom feel more connected with herself, more calm, more confident, more content, then she's able to parent from a more peaceful place. And so you have fewer outbursts, less overreacting. When the kids don't do the chore right, it's not as big of a deal. And then the parent is able to connect with them better because the child feels more at peace and more like the parent is approachable to them.

Kevin: 12:36

Yeah, that's this is really interesting. Probably less of that amygdala hijack going on as well. So from what it sounds like.

Robyn Graham : 12:45

And I think that's such a big piece because we don't realize how our shoulders are basically in our ears because our amygdala is like so on fire. And after years and years and years of that, especially if you have a history, uh any type of family history of anxiety or anxiety with yourself, it it's time to like get back into how how the body's supposed to be and develop that sympathetic nervous system, parasympathetic nervous system balance, so to speak.

Kevin: 13:14

Yeah, it's really interesting too, because I'll I can speak from my experience, like so many times before I kind of studied the neuroscience of this work, I notice so often my amygdala my amygdala would just go off. Uh I would interpret it as like I'm not good enough, as like there's that moment, it can be interpreted in so many ways. So I really think the work that you're doing is like really powerful. And I'm kind of curious too.

Robyn Graham : 13:42

Well, when if you think about that, it and it it could be, I mean, there's so many different situations, right? And sometimes the sometimes the mom just being more grounded and centered and living from a from a more peaceful perspective and space, it helps the entire family unit. And if the dad isn't the one with the anxiety, then he's looking at all this, these people are too much for me. And he's like escaping, he's like trying to get out of it, he's hiding under the bed because there's so much drama. And a lot of times it it is the dad that will say, just get over it. And then that's not helpful, right? So the woman, when the mom is centered and grounded and able to manage these emotions and these experiences, she can help the dad do the same. Their relationship grows stronger, and then even the father's relationship with the child can grow stronger. But it's it's a matter of someone in the family has to take the action. Someone has to begin to understand what's happening and what's going on. And that's when we start to see shifts in the entire family unit. But it's also relationships. If the mom is thinking the kid hates her or the kid doesn't like her because the kid is overreacting over situations or not doing tasks the way she expects them to do, she's feeling somewhat victimized. Well, when she no longer feels like a victim and she's understanding what's happening with her child, then her guard is let down and she's going to be able to communicate better with her husband. And sometimes it is just that relationship building. And sometimes we have to break down the barriers, we have to forgive, and then we can move forward. I love that.

Kevin: 15:19

Yeah, thanks for sharing that dynamic. I feel like it's really, really important to understand that. Now, since you are targeting moms, I'm kind of curious about the business aspect, the marketing aspect too. And so, how do these mothers, how do they find out about you? Are you doing any sort of marketing? I'm very curious on that end as well.

Robyn Graham : 15:38

So, yes, and I have since I had my photography business, everything I've done has been SEO centered. So I use search engine optimization with my website as the foundation, which is what I used to always, you know, part of what I used to teach my clients. So Google is really a good friend at this point because that's how people find me a lot. And then we also have email marketing that we use foundationally as well. So even though I was in the business coaching space, I was working with women. And most of those women were moms. So that was an easy transition to just continue communicating with my email list. And a lot of my clients came from those people that were from the business coaching space. And then they were like, oh wow, I need this. Let me sign on with this too. And so also speaking, I do a lot of podcast interviews, I do a lot of speaking, and that always opens the door to grow our community. And then we either they sign on as a client or we we nurture them through the emails, email marketing, and then they convert to clients later.

Kevin: 16:45

That's really interesting. I think you're the first coach in a long time that I remember is act that's actually like very SEO centered. Do you do any sort of content marketing on top of that? Or is it just like meaning like uh social media like content marketing?

Robyn Graham : 16:59

We do. I mean, we post um like Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn three times a week. That's it. We used to do a lot on Pinterest, but what I found is that Pinterest, if you have a product or a service like home decorating, baking, catering, a venue type thing, you're gonna get a lot farther on Pinterest than you are just with coaching, is what I've discovered. Now, now with the parenting, people are looking for parenting resources. So those are also very popular on Pinterest. So we're getting ready to start shifting back into the Pinterest space just from a parenting perspective. But most of what we do is I've focused on um the podcast, obviously, too. I have that. So, you know, that creates a lot of content for us as well. And then we have the Instagram, LinkedIn, and Instagram that we post three times a week. I love that. I feel like we're everywhere. I feel like we're everywhere. I feel like we do a lot. But yeah, my biggest emphasis has always been on SEO and it's worked really well.

Kevin: 18:02

Since you're everywhere, right? Do you currently have like a team or anything like that helping you with the marketing side?

Robyn Graham : 18:08

I have a small team.

Kevin: 18:09

Cool. Is it a bunch of like uh who's on that team by the way?

Robyn Graham : 18:14

So basically virtual assistants, right? Who have expertise in different different areas. The podcast is I do the interviews and then that I pretty much turn that over to my team and they do the editing, they do the the posting and all of that good stuff. AI has helped with that to some extent. I don't use AI to create content, but we do use AI to take the transcript and convert that into a blog post. And then I do, because I'm so particular, I do review those before they're actually published. But yeah, we have we have a lot of hands doing different things. The CRM management and some of those things, I I depend on the VAs for.

Kevin: 18:52

Yeah, and one interesting thing, because I've been hearing this discussion a lot, especially in the SEO world, they always talk about like AI is gonna disrupt SEO and stuff. What are your thoughts about that? Because now, especially with like ChatGPT and Claude recommending certain people, like is your approach with SEO kind of changing going forward? I'm curious about your thoughts.

Robyn Graham : 19:12

Well, it's interesting because I think we have to hear. I have so many mixed opinions about AI. I think it can be a great tool, but I also feel like a lot of people are using it and they're losing their brand voice, right? You can't have a machine right for you. Yes, you can put in the prompts and all of that, but if you're not editing it to make it your own voice, I feel like we're losing ground from a branding perspective. As far as a lot of the, a lot of the newer nuances because of AI and SEO, I'm working through those. And I think it's getting harder. I use specific tools for my keyword research and then for you know headline analyzers and all of those things to make sure that we're we're drawing in the people that we want to draw in. I I think there's a lot yet to be determined. I mean, the SEO with AI is relatively new on the scene. Only in the past, I would say, what, five, six months has that been a hot topic? And I will say that I've been seeing from the platforms I use, like ERFs, Uber Suggest, CM Rush, I'm seeing trainings, I'm seeing emails about this specific topic, but that's relatively new. So I think we just have to stay on top of and use those resources. So if you if you have a platform that you're using for SEO, then make sure that you are staying aware of what's transitioning and how AI is influencing SEO because we we just have to keep up with it. Yeah, I don't know. I have that kind of a roundabout answer to your question, but I think that for me at least, there's still a lot of unknowns.

Kevin: 20:49

Yeah, and you bring up a good point because all of this is relatively new in the market. And like even the people like you're talking about, Neil Patel and Eric Sue and all these other people, they're trying to figure it out and they have these thoughts, but we don't know what's gonna happen within the next year or yeah. Never mind the next six months, too. So that's interesting. Yeah.

Robyn Graham : 21:09

And I think, Kevin, it comes down to just being very intentional. If you stay aligned with your values, that's number one. Because then people are gonna be able to see that who you are, what your heart is, what you truly represent, and whether or not they're gonna connect with you. So that value alignment is key. And then really just making sure that your everything is clear. It's clear and concise. There's no doubt in any anyone's mind what you do. And I think the more content you produce on your website for a blog or a podcast or um on YouTube, for example, because that's a search engine, I think the more you're producing your own original authentic content, the better off you're gonna be.

Kevin: 21:50

Yeah, and I'm kind of curious too, because even when I looked at your LinkedIn bio and whatnot, you said you use neuroscience and scripture to provide a unique solution to moms. And so I'm kind of curious, how do you kind of create a unique brand voice, especially when everyone these days is just putting out content out there? What are some unique ways that you're doing it?

Robyn Graham : 22:11

That's a really good question. And I think the podcast has helped me tremendously. Speaking helps because people hear my voice, they see my picture, they see the videos of me talking. And I think that has been a very big connection point, if you will. I think holding true to the message, like I say neuroscience and scripture. Well, we know scientifically, well, we know that science is really just catching up to scripture because the Bible has said for years and years and years that we can transform our thoughts, right? We don't have to stay stuck. There's so many scripture verses about what is in our heart, what we think is that's what we are. And so there's so many verses to help us understand that we don't have to stay stuck. And so for me, my messaging is around everything that I that I teach my clients, everything that I coach around. And so it's just staying consistent and being clear.

Kevin: 23:09

Thanks, thanks for sharing that too. And so I do want to ask you people, moms specifically are finding out about you. And I'm sure that their inquiry about the services and stuff like that. And so I'm very curious, how what does a coaching engagement look like for you? Are you doing like mostly one-on-one coaching? Do you have group coaching? Kind of curious about your offerings and whatnot.

Robyn Graham : 23:30

Yeah, so right now, today, I'm doing one-to-one. However, we are starting a group program, and then in the future, I would like to do retreats for moms and maybe moms and their daughters. So we'll see how this progresses. As I mentioned to you, I'm relatively new in this space, right? My coaching business has transformed this year in 2025. So right now I'm collecting data to see, okay, if for the group program, for example, how many women out there can meet during the day, or are the majority of my moms working moms where they need an evening? So we're doing a lot of polling right now to try to figure out what are the best times, what is the best month to have a retreat for moms. I've got moms that have grown kids, I've got moms that have young kids. And so just trying to figure out what's going to work best. But the group program will definitely launch by January 2026.

Kevin: 24:22

What led you to uh want to launch to start a new like group program for moms?

Robyn Graham : 24:28

So I feel like, and if I'm honest, it will probably be hybrid because I feel like one-to-one connection, sometimes, especially related to any type of mental health challenge, we need more of an intimate private connection to be vulnerable. But we also need loneliness is almost to epidemic proportions right now. And so when we provide a place where women can come together, I mean, this could apply to men too, but when we have when we provide a place where women can come together or people can come together, then they can share in their own experiences. And one person opening up is going to be just the door that's open for somebody else then to walk through and be able to share their story or to ask the questions they need to ask to be able to get the help that they need. We all learn in group environments. I mean, when you think about any children going to a public school or even a private school, they're in a classroom. When one person asks a question, it's thought-provoking for another person. So that group setting becomes not only a way to help people grow, but they also get the strength and the emotional support and then the friendships that develop in that group setting.

Kevin: 25:39

Yeah, that's really interesting because you mentioned you're providing these safe spaces for moms, but I've seen it on the other side too of like male loneliness and all that too. And you're right, loneliness is a huge epid uh epidemic going on right now. Yeah. Actually, it was pretty sad. I saw this um on YouTube. There was this uh whole trend, like I have no friends. And it was like I have no friends at 20, I have no friends at 50, I have no friends at all different ages. And so Yeah, that's it's really it's really great that you're offering these like safe spaces, especially for moms who might be feeling like they're going through this alone.

Robyn Graham : 26:17

And I think when I've been through it, so I know how isolating it can be when you're when you have a child who's struggling. You you're not gonna talk about their challenges to other people. And there's a lot of um blame that goes on too. You know, a lot of moms blame themselves for what's going on with their children, and it's not their fault. So, you know, it we only know, or I guess we should I should say we don't know what we don't know. And if we have lived and grown up in a certain way, certain environments, then all of those past experiences are not only formulating who we are, but then you have epigenetics and then you have other environmental factors, and all of that translates down to our children as well.

Kevin: 27:00

It sounds like the type of work that you're doing is very intimate, and sometimes it can get quite heavy sometimes. I would assume at least. I guess how do you kind of manage your client capacity because it's a lot from what it sounds like.

Robyn Graham : 27:16

Yeah, and honestly, I mean it guess it sounds like a lot, but it is really rewarding because when we're working together, they're experiencing so many aha moments and so much transformation that when they start to discover who they really are inside and that there's hope, it's amazing. So yeah, sometimes it could be heavy and there are a lot of emotions, but I think the key is, and I think a lot of people go into the mental health field or the coaching field because we've navigated things for ourselves. So if we have healed and if we're able to, you know, be grounded in ourselves. But this is where, like I talked about earlier, too, just regulating the nervous system, you know, using the tools available to me to make sure that I'm going in completely regulated and then I'm better able to focus and help them regulate too. So I yeah, I you could look at it both ways, right? It could be heavy, but it's also so incredibly rewarding. And work that is changing the trajectory for lives for the future. So, because if you change how a parent is parenting today, that child's life is going to be so much better and so much healthier emotionally going forward.

Kevin: 28:26

Yeah. And there's downstream effects of your children having children and the future generations after that, too.

Robyn Graham : 28:34

Absolutely. It's it's legacy work when you think about it, because you're literally changing the trajectory of generations to come. So it may be hard for you right now to do this, but every penny you invest in it, every minute you invest in it, think about the future you're giving your children. It's so much more important than the financial legacy that you might live or might leave because this, they they won't be able to enjoy the financial piece if they aren't emotionally and mentally stable and healthy.

Kevin: 29:04

Yeah, we see it all the time with like uber rich uh families and whatnot, them falling apart. Actually, we interviewed uh a coach who specifically focuses on ultra high net worth families. And he tell he on this podcast, he was telling me how they have all the money in the world, but their fine uh family dynamics are like in shambles and whatnot, too. And so it goes to what you're saying. This is the core piece, this is the legacy work that needs to be done. Which leads me to my next question, too. It's like this legacy work, right? It's something that I feel like a lot of people feel like oh, it is so important. But one of the things I also think about too is like we're also kind of a business. So I would love to kind of hear your advice on this because it's not like this legacy work, it can be tied to a dollar, and it feels like kind of weird tying it to a dollar. And so when you think about pricing your coaching services, I guess like where do you structure this pricing? Obviously you don't need to give any hard numbers, but like for pricing strategy, what do how do you think about that when you're pricing these uh when you're pricing this?

Robyn Graham : 30:15

Well, you've got to think about the industry you're in, right? So when you think about the type of coaching I'm doing, I'm working a lot of times alongside a therapist that, you know, because the if there is a lot of anxiety or emotional challenges or mental health challenges, my clients also have a therapist. But what's so wonderful is the the therapist is taking them from their past to the present. And then the coaching takes them from the present to the future and opens the door for so much more from an opportunity perspective, right? So it kind of goes hand in hand. So if people are gonna hire me, they're gonna hire me from they're gonna have to look at the numbers, right? It's gonna have to work for them, it's gonna have to make sense for them because this is fee for service. I can't take insurance, I don't have ICD9 codes or whatever. So, you know, but it's, you know, people don't look at mental health the same way they look at other things. Like people are much more likely to buy a Louis-Vuitton handbag than they are to invest in mental health care. And so for me, right now, I'm aligning my prices from a perspective of similar to higher than some, maybe not as high as like a PhD or a psychiatrist or you know, private psychologist or something. Like it's kind of in the middle, right? In the mix. But it's really becomes about the messaging because we have to convey the message of how important this is. And it all comes down to choice, right? We can choose to invest in care that is going to change our lives for the better, and then thus our children and their children and so on. So you so I guess for me, the pricing has to be relatively accessible. But at the same time, I have spent years and a lot of money developing these tools, learning these tools, and mastering these tools so that I can help people. So I don't know, I don't know if I've answered your question or not. Does that help at all?

Kevin: 32:07

No, it's really interesting because the reason why I asked that is because I asked different coaches in different industries, right? And some of them align their pricing very similar to like lawyers or attorneys, which I find really funny because a lot of people don't like paying attorneys and stuff. That's one interesting angle. But since the work is so more mental health uh focused, it's really interesting how you kind of align your pricing around like high-end uh therapists or psychologists and whatnot as well. So I thought that was really, really interesting.

Robyn Graham : 32:37

Yeah, yeah.

Kevin: 32:38

One of the things I also want to ask you too is like people are paying for your services. You're just getting this up and launched. I guess I'm curious about your future goals too. And so, where do you want this coaching business to take you in the next few years? Like, do you have any secret dreams, big ambitions no one knows about? I would love to hear all that.

Robyn Graham : 32:56

Well, it's a it's a really good question. So I have more books that I want to write, obviously. Um I'm a writer at heart. And speaking, I wanna wanna grow my speaking business and and get that to where I am in front of a lot more and doing so more frequently. My baby is about to go to college next year. And so I'm gonna have a whole new leash on life where I'm gonna have a time and a lot more time to be able to do those things that I have on my heart. So in the next few years, I fully anticipate additional books being written as well as doing a lot more speaking and speaking on bigger stages.

Kevin: 33:31

Do you ever have plans on hiring more coaches, or do you like being the like head coach and just focusing on coaching?

Robyn Graham : 33:38

No, that is that is also something that I would love to build out where I have coaches helping me, working alongside me, not under me, but alongside me to really make sure that the resources are all there for as many people as we can possibly serve. I believe in this work so wholeheartedly that the more people that even just training on the same methodology that I'm using, it's just getting such tremendous results for these women that I would love to be able to provide that as well. So I don't know, we may become more of an agency model going forward where, you know, we have full intakes and then go, who knows? Maybe we'll I don't know where we're gonna go. But as I mentioned, you know, this is still within the past five months that I have transitioned. And so I'm still in a lot of information gathering, but I know that the potential is immense.

Kevin: 34:31

You mentioned several times that you started this about five months ago. And I'm so curious as you reflect on these last five months, what are some challenges that you've kind of noticed, like switching industries and all that and starting this new coaching business for yourself?

Robyn Graham : 34:45

That's a really good question. And I I would say I think the new messaging and the visibility around that messaging has been the biggest challenge. And here's I'm gonna tell you another thing that's been somewhat challenging for me is that people have literally scheduled calls with me and they think that because I'm changing the scope of my business, I'm changing who my clients are, that now they can just pick my brain for everything that I used to do. And they'll literally schedule calls and want me to help them with their business or whatever. And that has been a challenge. And that is where I have had to lay down firm boundaries to say, I may be transitioning, but this is all information that I worked very hard to attain, that I paid a lot of money for coaching or I paid a lot of money for courses, that this is I'm not, I'm not in the business of just giving that away. So I had to create like a call per se that people can book with me and pay for that time. But I will say that that has happened multiple times in the past five months. And that I think is interesting that people have viewed it that way. Oh, well, she's not in that space anymore. So now I can just get this information for free versus hiring. Now I'm talking people who literally had booked calls before and didn't want to invest in business coaching, and now they think that it's gonna be available for free. So I found that that has been a challenge to navigate alongside navigating just the visibility with the new messaging.

Kevin: 36:17

What was that transition like for you? Because I'm sure that you have your old business, right? And you're changing like sure, people are picking your brain, but like, did you like one day did you just like shut off all your funnels and all that sort of stuff, like on the old business side, or you just No, I didn't because I didn't.

Robyn Graham : 36:37

And here's what I did was I edited them. So I didn't recreate anything. I used anything that we had and we edited them. So we edited the messaging and any funnels. We sometimes for some of them replaced the lead magnet or the ebook or whatever we were giving. And then I left some resources on the website because a lot of the women that I'm working with, a lot of these moms are entrepreneurs or they're writers or they're speakers. And so they're still, they still need some of that information. So I did leave a section on the website where there are still business resources available because my population has shifted to an extent, but it's still women who are leaders, who are high achievers, and who a lot of have businesses of their own still. So I didn't completely shut anything off. And because I had always used my name as my business, I didn't have to change my URL. I didn't have to change the podcast name or anything like that. So that part was I'm glad I did everything the way I did because that was easy.

Kevin: 37:45

I love that. Okay. Yeah, I was just really curious because um you mentioned people are asking you to pick your brain and stuff out of it. I was like, ooh, I wonder what that transition was like. So thank you for clarifying that too. Yeah. I want to also play a game with you, Robin, if you're open to it. Um, this is one of my favorite storytelling games. I learned it from like a master storyteller. He like won the moth storytelling contest. I don't even know. But um I want to do it through the lens of business investments because as you know, a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of coaches, they invested in things like coaching training. You mentioned it earlier that you invested a lot to learn what you know now. And so what I want to do, if you're open to it, I would just love to prompt you a phrase and you just tell me the first thing that comes to mind. And uh yeah, we'll we'll just go from there. Okay. First business investment you remember making.

Robyn Graham : 38:38

The first business investment I ever made was website design for the business coaching uh business back in the day, is that right? So, well, okay, so let's be clear. Are you focusing specifically on the business coaching or are you going all the way back to when I started? Because I have been an entrepreneur for 25 years.

Kevin: 38:58

Let's go back into your entrepreneur journey. Like, I want to hear like the first thing that like people have said in the past, like, well, yeah, my lemonade stand when I was like 10 years old and stuff like that. Like I'm kind of curious about the first uh business investment you remember ever making in your Okay, that would absolutely hands down be my website. I see.

Robyn Graham : 39:18

Last business investment you made was the course, the certification course for the neuroscience coaching certification.

Kevin: 39:26

Best business investment you made.

Robyn Graham : 39:28

I would say the best business investment I made was my current CRM.

Kevin: 39:32

That's interesting. Can you tell me more about that? Why that was your best one?

Robyn Graham : 39:36

I will, because every single thing that I do in my business is under one platform and everything is automated. So from contracts to invoicing to social media posting to lead funnels, everything is under one platform and it is all automated. So that opened a lot of doors for me to be able to create more content, work with more clients, and all of that.

Kevin: 40:02

Yeah, I think sometimes like we can sometimes forget the amount of drag it takes, like just switching from different apps or having everything everywhere and all these small admin tasks. And even if we outsource it, we have to remember like, my god, my VA is wasting like 20 hours per week on like these small little tasks.

Robyn Graham : 40:21

So and time is money.

Kevin: 40:23

Time, but also what uh from this is my perspective. I also think energy too, right? 100. Like there's nothing worse than being like, oh my god, I have to click like 10 buttons just to post like this one. It's like that's that's not the energy I was. So annoying with my concept.

Robyn Graham : 40:39

That at all. Because if we're feeling that way, people are gonna perceive it that way. Yeah.

Kevin: 40:43

Exactly. Yeah.

Robyn Graham : 40:44

Yeah.

Kevin: 40:45

Okay. Last prompt. Worst business investment that you kind of wish you got your money back from.

Robyn Graham : 40:50

I hired a coach one time who um did not help me, in fact, created more confusion. And I ended up with a lot less clarity. And then she fired me because I didn't make the amount of money that she thought that I should make and said I couldn't renew the coaching program with her. And yeah, I wish I had every penny back from that experience. And here's here's what's so important. And I know you, I know you get this because I know you're into mindset and all of that. But here's here's where I think a lot of business owners, they see someone who looks like the solution and is going to help them get to where they want to go. And what people do is they invest in a coach. Some coaches have been, they've had a coach who maybe used a model or something like this. And this is exactly what happened with this coach. She had worked with a coach who used a thought model. And this woman thought she could use the thought model. She was not trained to use that thought model. And she was using a thought model that ended up, and I watched it with several people in this mastermind. It messed up their entire mindset, their entire thought process because it wasn't their thoughts that they were hung up with. They were having emotional challenges around their business or around their ideal client or where, around their calling or their purpose, right? So there's a big difference. But I think for any business, for any coach, for any business owner out there who is looking to grow, you have to do your due diligence as to who this person is at the core. Are your values aligned? And what is their ultimate goal for you as well? Anyway, that's just my that's so that was my worst investment, and it was a big one that I didn't get a I didn't necessarily get a return on, but that's okay because it was a learning experience. I did learn.

Kevin: 42:35

As you're reflecting on these stories, how has your decision decision-making process changed and what to invest in and what not to invest in? You answered the second part of that, I guess, like of what like the red flags and do doing doing due diligence. But when you do invest in something, what are the kind of the green flags that like really pop out at you?

Robyn Graham : 42:53

A lot of discernment. So one is, you know, is this person or this business aligned with my values? Does what they do truly reflect the goal that I want to achieve? And from a personality perspective, does it feel good? Is the energy exchange positive? Do I like their energy? Do I do I like all of their content that they're putting out into the world? Because if there's anything that feels a little off, it's it's a hard no. It's got to be all or nothing for me for a fit.

Kevin: 43:21

Last piece of advice I would love from you. This is another segment uh that we have. It's called overrated, underrated. As you know, as a business owner, you've probably gotten a lot of advice, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it solicited, some of it unsolicited. And I'm kind of curious: like, what's the most overrated and underrated piece of advice you've gotten so far?

Robyn Graham : 43:42

Underrated is to know your numbers, to know your analytics, know what's going on behind the scenes, and not just throwing spaghetti at the wall, because that's more or less insanity. Overrated, I'm gonna say overrated is to have financial goals without impact goals, meaning to have your have the numbers, have the your goals be based on numbers, on money versus based on impact.

Kevin: 44:08

Like a why or like an intrinsic reason, intrinsic meaning to like pursue those goals.

Robyn Graham : 44:14

Because if you're not following your passion and if you're if you're not following your visions, your passions, and you're not aligned with your values, and all you're doing is striving for money, you you're gonna feel miserable. It feels it can feel great to make a ton of money for a while, but if it's not aligned, it's not fulfilling and then you burn out.

Kevin: 44:30

Robin, have you always been a type of person that has been like very purpose-driven most of your life? Or has that kind of changed over the years?

Robyn Graham : 44:38

No, I've always been service and purpose driven. Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I like to make money, but I am, I have to have that. It's gotta be rewarding for me.

Kevin: 44:49

Yeah. Last question for you, Robin. How can people find you and connect with you?

Robyn Graham : 44:53

I am the Robin Graham everywhere. So my website is therobingraham.com, and there you can find the podcast, you can find free resources, you can find everything there is to know about me, as well as find all of our social handles and everything there as well. So that's a great place to find me.

Kevin: 45:08

Robin, there's just so much uh I took away from this podcast. One, just in downstream, I think sometimes, especially with family dynamics and stuff, a lot of people downplay the effect it has on people, especially families and everybody in the family, right? So oftentimes we're just like, oh yeah, mom is just always like nagging me and always so anxious and all that sort of stuff. But it's really interesting you talking about the neuroscience and the downstream impact on the current family, but on the legacies and future generations to come. And so I just want to say thank you for the work that you do and thank you for just sharing your experience, not only as a coach, as someone who also really cares, and also as like a tact from the tactical point of view, your business experience as well. So thank you so much for coming on our podcast, Robin.

Robyn Graham : 45:54

Thank you for having me. It was a real pleasure.

Davis Nguyen : 45:56

That's it for this episode of Career Coaching Secrets. If you enjoyed this conversation, you can subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening to this episode to catch future episodes. This podcast was brought to you by Purple Circle, where we help career coaches scale their business to $100,000 years, $100,000 months, or even $100,000 weeks, all without burning out and making sure that you're making the impact and having the life that you want. To learn more about our community and how we can help you, visit join purplecircle.com.